Death
As with most other people, I struggle to come to terms with this concept. For as long as I can remember, I have been agnostic, and as such don’t have any kind of platitudes regarding death. It would be easier if I were atheist. In general, atheists believe that death is the end of a person and there is oblivion afterwards, as there is no soul to move on. It can be a fairly clinical outlook, and somewhat cold, to think that when a person dies, that is it.
Anyone who is religious probably believes in or part-believes in the theories of their religion, whether it is an afterlife, reincarnation or rebirth. I have considered all of these, and have had mixed results. I don’t believe in an afterlife, and I don’t believe in reincarnation. I accept the possibility of Buddhist rebirth, and I can’t reconcile myself easily with there being nothing after our deaths. (more…)
Commitment
I have been practising a martial art for over 6 months now, and have been contented with going to the weekly class and the occasional workshop. Although it is encouraged to work at your own pace and not to compete with others, it is not always easy to stop feeling eager to progress or feel disappointed when struggling. I recently moved up a level and have slowly been building up a stronger sense of commitment to the class, to the point where I need to train outside of class for me to progress well and understand the syllabus more fully.
At the moment, the material is overwhelming, and I really want to make sense of it all, which will mean radically altering my approach to learning. The class has the potential to allow freer thinking, if I allow it to happen, and trust that no matter how much I may struggle or get disheartened, or even get put back a level to improve before continuing, I must commit myself in order to achieve results.
I think a training schedule is in order… 
Simplifying
I have wanted to simplify my life and enrich it at the same time, because modern life seems to be full to overflowing with things to grab our attention but they last five minutes before replaced with something else, leaving a feeling of dissatisfaction with the shallowness of these things. (more…)
Encounters
I’m looking forward to March as I’m going to have two visitors coming from a good distance away: Firstly, my sister is coming to visit in the first week of March and this is going to be special, as I don’t get to see her very often, not to mention that when I do, it’s usually at my parents’ home. This is the first time she will have come to visit me in the last 4-5 years. We had a difficult patch during that time, but I am really pleased to say that we are much closer now, and I am enjoying a new-found stability in our relationship
My second visitor is a few days afterwards, and I have never actually met her before. She is coming all the way from Finland, and I am looking forward to meeting her as we enjoy the kind of relationship where despite knowing very little about each other’s likes/dislikes et cetera, there is a strong feeling of mutual goodwill and similarity in our personalities.
Girlfriend In A Coma
I just finished reading this book by Douglas Coupland yesterday and I highly recommend it to anyone who is looking for some inspiration to seek meaning in their lives. The search for meaning is something that, I think, many of us put off while we distract ourselves from the knowledge that we feel purposeless. Facing up to the fact that we feel our lives are drifting along - possibly in entirely the wrong direction - without any sense of purpose is depressing and intensely melancholic. No wonder we run away from this feeling.
Girlfriend In A Coma presents us with a group of people who grow from carefree older teenagers into something far short of their hopes and dreams in middle-age, completely lacking in purpose and painfully aware of this fact. The events that unfold force them to realise what went wrong in between and what they could have been doing that would have been so much more fulfilling. The answer presented is inspirational, thought-provoking, and completely appropriate for a generation who rely less on religion and dogma to guide them than previous generations.
I believe that modern life has allowed our spiritual growth to become stunted and this has nothing to do with the decline in religion, but with a lack of purpose. Religion is only one way to find meaning, to recognise something bigger than oneself. However, for those who feel that purpose is lacking in life (regardless of religious views), this book will revitalise and inspire you.
A must-read!
I am here and now
The more I read about Buddhism, the more I realise that the key is to be present. Wake up to now. The past happened, it isn’t illusory, but it only survives in the present as memory. The future is uncertain and it lives in the present through contemplation and predictions. Both involve taking yourself away from the here and now to concentrate on something that you can either not change as it’s already happened or you can mull over endlessly considering options that have not even happened yet, crossing bridges before you get to them.
In order to be saner, using the past to help not make mistakes now is useful, but not living in the past, dwelling on all the things you wish you’d done or not done. Making plans for the future is also useful, but daydreaming about what could be, and worrying about things that probably won’t even happen (and even if it did, sitting fretting over it won’t change it, will it?) are detrimental. So, being aware of the here and now and living in the present seems to be the sanest option.
I think there is a difference between living in the present and living for the moment. I believe in the former as the latter suggests “screw the consequences”, which might sound good but doesn’t work in the long term - everyone reaps what they sow, ultimately. With freedom comes responsibility - this doesn’t seem apparent too much when I look around me…
LibraryThing
For all book lovers, here is a website I highly recommend where you can build your own library, review books, get suggestions on books you might like and join groups with whom you share similar literary interests. You can find my library here. If you are on LibraryThing and would like to offer recommendations or discuss similar interest in books with me, feel free to comment on here or on the LibraryThing website
Life Direction
I have been contemplating the sense of paralysis with regard to making life decisions recently. I don’t wish to reach old age full of regrets, but equally I’m not the kind of person who goes out and just does things, regardless of what others think. I’m indecisive and often unsure of myself. I feel that I am becoming more focused though and have decided that as long as I think things through properly first, adapt to change and take on the opportunities that life provides me with, that I would have fewer regrets than if I stand still wondering what to do with my life. Sometimes, I think you just have to go with the flow…
Retreat
I am thinking of going on a retreat for 1 week sometime next year to a Buddhist monastery near to where I live. I had considered going for longer but I think I will start off with a more manageable length of time and I can always do more at a later date if I want to. It will be my first retreat so I am not entirely sure what to expect, but either way I believe it will be good for me to get away from it all and do some self-reflection, so that I can make improvements that are long overdue and also make wiser decisions regarding my future. I hope that this experience will be carried forward and make my life more positive
Convicted v. Narrow-minded
I have been catching up with the latest on Buddhachat.org and stumbled across a thread where a born-again Christian was asking about Buddhism, supposedly in the hope of learning more and without wishing to convert anyone. This noble aim was not apparent throughout the thread. This person had a block, a lack of willingness to investigate and question, to use our human ability to reason. This person stood out against every other person (mostly practising Buddhists) as being rigid and narrow-minded, whereas others were more compassionate and understanding, more patient and yet hadn’t sacrificed their convictions or beliefs.
I believe there are good Christians, good Muslims, good Buddhists etc. and also bad Christians, bad Muslims, bad Buddhists etc. However, generally speaking, my experience of most religions is that a direct hindrance to reasoning for oneself is fundamentally bad and goes against our human nature, certainly according to Aristotle. Reason is what distinguishes us from the rest of the animal kingdom. I found it interesting that conviction in one’s beliefs does not prevent one from being open-minded, as the Buddhists on that forum indicated to me. Narrow-mindedness, to me, seems to be a belief in the superiority of one’s beliefs over another’s and therefore promotes inequality.
I am open-minded for the most part, but my convictions need some work, however I will always strive to remain open-minded no matter how strongly I hold an opinion. I believe that this is achievable and that if I do not achieve this, I will be a hypocrite and also not a decent person.